WOW DAY 20!!!

WOOOOOOHHH!! Talk about time flying when your having fun! I apologize for the lack of communication during the last 3 weeks but unfortunately my laptop decided it was an ideal time to crash on me so until now I've been wondering around the country without access to the internet (which makes being a call girl pretty difficult). Well hold on to your seats as I give you the run down on how I've spent the last 20 days across 12 states in 7 cities.

*DAYTONA BEACH*
So I just want to say that Daytona Beach is not hooker friendly. It was insanity from the word "go". It was basically a ghost town due to the fact that it was 35 degrees the entire time we were there. The first night we were there we decided to hit up Hyde Park (the steak house located in the Hilton we were staying at). Great calamari. We took our seats at the bar and we were instant celebrities, every suit in there wanted to talk to the 2 hot girls at the bar (probably due to the fact that we were dressed as walking billboards for the adult industry if you know what I mean). Not more then a few cocktails in and I receive a text from the boss saying I have a client soon. We will refer to him as freak #1 of this enticing trip. So freak #1 joins us at the bar..he looks like a red headed version of Harry from Harry and the Hendersons. After short conversation we head up to the room, I will spare you the details but just know he was a germaphobe..ackward.. This is NOT a hobby for people afraid of contact with other people! Any hoo, after that I head back down to the bar where I find Ava sitting at a table with 5 men in suits. At this point things are going good, one man in particular insists on paying our previous bar tab and really starts laying it on hard to Ava. He may look like a gremlin but hey work is work. He asks Ava to do him a favor and be "all over him" when his girlfriend shows up because "she's into that stuff". Now I knew this was going to disasterous but I figured at the very least I'd be amused. So then walks in gremlins cute and super young girlfriend (for the record gremlin is married.. but this is his girlfriend). Ava works her charm and pulls out all the stops short of fucking his face right there at the dinner table.Surprise surprise, gremlins gf is PISSED, like I could see her eyes turn red and I was waiting for her head to start spinning like the exorcist. Convienantly this is when Ava and the 2 other guys decide to excuse themselves from the table. I begin to guzzle my wine and fast, I refuse to endure this sober. Gremlins gf begins calling Ava every name under the sun and of course I'm the only one there to hear it so i just let it go, no point in going to jail over stupid catty nonsense. .....15 minutes later.....Sober Lola has started the transformation into Drunk Feisty Lola. And still gremlins gf will not shut her damn mouth about Ava... and of course Ava and the 2 guys never came back. So the next series of events escalated very quickly.
Lola: You should probaby just drop it already. I mean seriously, how can you sit here and call her a whore when your no better.. YOUR A MARRIED MANS GIRLFRIEND!
Gremlins GF: That's different, she really is a WHORE!
Lola: Sweetheart, don't be mad men won't pay to fuck YOU!
Gremlins GF: Go fuck yourself! (while throwing her Knobb Creek on the rocks in my face and storming off)
Lola:CLASSLESS WHORE (yelling towards Gremlins GF as she runs through Hyde Park), which was followed by a strange chorus of laughter throughout the establishment.
Now I wish I could say I left the restaurant and went up to bed and that was the end of the night. But of course not. One of the men came back and the 3 of us decide to leave the restaurant and go look for Ava. While walking through the halls of the Hilton I come around a corner and ran right smack into gremlins gf, WITH ANOTHER DAMN DRINK IN HER HAND! So quick recap: She throws her drink in my face, leaves and goes to a different bar to buy ANOTHER drink to through in my face AGAIN! Drunk feisty Lola has reached her level of patience, so I kick off my sandals and turn to handle this the old fashion way. But the sight in front of me stopped me in my tracks. Imagine this... a 5ft tall fat guy with coke bottle glasses holding back his 6ft tall maybe a 120 lbs girlfriend while shes trying to jump over his head to get to me..LOL..The only thing I could do was laugh before picking up my sandals and heading back to my room. Once I reached my room I found Ava in a very "not sober state" and decide my "not sober state" cannot handle her "not sober state", so I throw on a bikini, grab a bottle of wine and head towards the hot tub. This is when I realize one of the guys from the table is still following me.. akward. .The rest is a bit blurry, but it involved a pool and 1000 cheerleaders, and possibly a few cosmopolitans.
6AM Next Morning: I awake to someone legs on top of mine.. and am relieved when I notice that they are baby smooth indicating a woman. I become coherent enough to know I'm in Ava's bed and then noticed a loud snoring noise coming from my bed across the room. I turn on the light... and there is that SAME GUY from the table, sleeping in my bed, IN HIS UNDERWEAR!! Ugh, I am way too hungover for this nonsense. But luckily we both had made it through the first night in Daytona Beach.
Getting ready to conquer this Beach a second night in a row I noticed that Ava has a bad habit of forgetting her pants when she goes out at night. But hey if I was a personal trainer I'd walk around half naked too. We walk to this cute little bar just down from our hotel  where we find a great cover band and tons of people. I have to point out that in this little southern beach town we stick out like whores in church.. o wait.. lol. And the locals didn't approve of us one bit. I was trying to dodge all the dirty looks and guzzle down some pineapple martinis as Ava was on a mission to bang the bass player. To get his attention she took out a magnum condom from her purse, stared him right in the eyes as she ran her tongue over it then through it in their tip jar.. nothing subtle about this approach lol. But it worked, during an intermission he approached us and started oogling Ava and her barely there dress. It was going well until a little glimmer caught Ava's eye.. "Nice wedding ring! Is that just for decoration?".. Upon hearing this come out her mouth I almost fell off my bar stool.. But his rebuttal was priceless as he grabbed her hand and placed it on his massively hard man rod and uttered. "Unfortunately NO!" Wow.. shut down! After this epic fail of a hook up things begin to get blurry again (seems to be the theme of this trip). From what I recall 2 girls in particular really didn't like us being in that bar, even got to the point where they straight out called us whores. Oh did I mention Drunk Feisty Lola was out to play that night? So upon hearing the words "whores" I once again try to settle this the old fashion  way. I pushed one over, which led to the other one clawing my face like a savage animal, which in turn led to me punching the first one square in the face. Ugh and where the hell is Ava you ask?...Not anywhere in the vicinity, she's outside wondering around as I'm being tossed outside by a huge bouncer. I spent the rest of the night curled around the toilet naked and puking up pineapple martinis. Needless to say we packed up the next morning and got the hell out of there, I promise I will not be back in Daytona for a very long time.